Fourth Birthday in Heaven

3:03:00 PM





This post was written on 14th January 2017, last year. I wanted to write more but didn't manage to finish it and today is Jibrael's fifth birthday in heaven. Another year closer to Jibrael. I'm going to just share what I wrote and did not finsih last year and hope that I can blog about Jibrael's fifth birthday today.

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Our Jibrael's 4th birthday today. Fourth year in heaven. #strength4jibrael Posted this photo of Jibrael inside Mama captured by Abah @kneok today. Memories etched in my heart, forever and the feelings remain till we meet again.

Reposting my photo on IG @rnadiasabrina :

I don't have a photo with my late daughter Putri Jibrael Zumirrah. So I can't share like other mothers. But how beautiful she was is etched in my heart and mind. Everything reminds me of her. This is what I have. Pictures of her inside me at the hospital a day before I went into labour 80 days after my water broke. I was on strict bedrest but that day @kneok (Khubayb) and I decided to take this photo. Little did we know God has decided that she's going to be born the next day. It was beautiful. Mother's instinct I suppose. The best most beautiful gift I've ever received from the Creator, my daughter. The one who made me become a mother. The love that I have for her is so great. I miss her so very much. Praises God Almighty. She went away to soon but God knows best. He has determined what's the best for both of us. The only thing I hope is that He gives me strength to survive. Not easy not having her around. Only those who have been through childloss will understand. It is the strongest pain I've ever felt, beyond any physical pain. Because it lingers.

God, I miss having her in my #tummy. Talking to her, having her move about in me, being tickled, having her respond to what we say to her, doing every single thing for her, feeding her with our favourite foods. Having her soul inside me strengthened me in ways I would never have imagined... God's powers and the #miracle of #life.

All praises to the Almighty Creator for letting me feel how amazingly beautiful having his beautiful miraculous creation, our child, being created in me. For letting me feel a mother's love. For letting our princess, the late Arwah Putri Jibrael Zumirrah, Khubayb @kneok & I share, feel and experience an unexplainable bond when I was pregnant and all the special moments we had including when she finally appeared in this world.......



I shared on how it wasn't easy to visit Jibrael's grave earlier in my post Second in Heaven : Mama's Letter to Jibrael.

Today is a special day. 14.1.15. Happy 2nd birthday to my beautiful angel Jibrael who I am sure is having a wonderful time up in heaven. :) I wonder how you've been but heaven is beautiful beyond imagination. :D Exactly 2 years ago Mama gave birth to you and your Abah @kneok & I officially became parents to you, our eldest daughter Putri Jibrael Zumirrah. Remembering those moments when I saw you came out of my belly makes me smile. I'm just in awe of God's beautiful creation. It was one of the most beautiful moments in my life. 4.17am 14th January 2013. It was an emergency cesarean section surgery. I'm blessed to be your mother and for all the beautiful memories I had since the day I was pregnant. I look forward to the day our family will be complete again. May God reunite us again one sweet day. Hopefully together with your younger siblings too InsyaAllah ♡ I miss you and I love you very much. Continuous Al-Fatihah and prayers for you. 

Ya Allah, please convey our love, our longing and this message to my daughter. Increase our dependency on You alone and grant us strength and energy to go through this life that you have blessed us with in this world. Forgive us all and please reward each and everyone of those who has been supportive and has been really kind to us throughout this journey. 

A tiny little heart, cut out. Having a quiet family dinner with @kneok without her. We wish we could celebrate with her. It's just us two. I must admit that today reminds me of all the beautiful moments with my daughter but it is not easy because it is also the same date that she left. But it's her second year in heaven :) Alhamdulillah, she is in a better place and God has a better plan for her. I have to thank everyone for the wishes and prayers today especially here. And for the few who personally messaged me or called me. It means a lot ♡ You have no idea. #strength4jibrael

May Allah protect her and let her have the best of time up there in heaven. A wonderful time none of us can even begin to imagine. May our love for our daughter and the remembrance brings us closer to the One who created love and everything that exists. May we all be blessed with His Love. 

Some of my previous posts about Jibrael.









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4 comments

  1. i dont know why but i keep having this picture in my mind where jibrael is holding your finger...maybe i was imagining it when you told me that precious moment 5 years ago...i guess i have captured and kept it virtually somewhere in my mind...happy bornday jibrael!

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  2. "Only those who have been through childloss will understand. It is the strongest pain I've ever felt, beyond any physical pain" - i feel you sis. I just lost my daughter on 13/12/17(11/12/17-13/12/17). I miss her so much. Al fatihah to our children.

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