Wednesday, April 23, 2014


A wrap dress I wore on 23rd March 2014. Exactly a month ago.

This was the day I went to see the dearly departed and much-missed blogger friend Ami Schaheera at the hospital just a few days before she unexpectedly passed away. The day I went to Mufti Menk’s talk at Pullman Hotel Bangsar with my sister Fahima Salleh. The day I went to dear Lisa Surihani’s kenduri doa selamat at her home.

This was what I wore. That day.

To be honest, I’ve been wanting to blog about this look since about 1 month ago but there were things in my mind and my heart which stopped me from doing so.

I realized this past week that a lot of my unpublished or un-blogged posts are basically a consequence of this reason. Something that I feel like sharing but I know I couldn’t share here. It’s a bit complicated to explain but it’s like I have a personal attachment regarding certain things so those things that I am unable to put in words stops me from posting what should be a simple straightforward post. Something that I just have to learn to overcome as a blogger.

See? This should be in another post! Maybe I’ll blog on that one day.

Back to the look that I wore.

As I was going to a talk I thought the abaya-like dress would be appropriate as it looks very modest and as Lisa told me that the theme to the doa selamat was pastel-ish, I chose to wear the pastel grey shawl and the pastel coloured ikat jeans. The last time I wore the jeans was when I was pregnant 2 years ago. Love it as it is a gift from the husband.  

I love that the tag of the dress mentions the prayer when putting on new clothes. So thoughtful.

I wore the dress the whole day that day and it was really comfortable and I’ve always liked dresses with zip at the arms which makes it easy for ablution before prayers. I think the first dress I wore last year was the Syomir Izwa dress by Zawara.

Last year I’ve worn a dress from Love to Dress too. See my post “Twirling in Love to Dress”.

Outfit details :
Sleeveless Satin top  : Pu3 Designs made by my aunt for my wedding day
Pants : Topshop ikat pants gift by the husband 2 years ago
Shawl : Paripari Shawls by Hasanah Hilmi available at ILoveTudung
Watch : Gift by the husband
Shoes : ShoesShoesShoes
Bag : Michael Kors 
Bangle : Gift from my mother and late grandmother, Opah

Photographer : Khubayb, the husband @kneok

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Salam dear readers.

Sorry for the silence on my blog and the absence on my Instagram account. I have been unwell but I’m recovering now.
Here’s one of the things I managed to do while I was at home with Wan, my mother, last week. I randomly cooked ayam masak sambal tumis for the first time with my mother on 16th April 2014 for dinner with my husband and the family... and I thought it would be good to just share the ingredients, recipe and step by step pictorial below. I’m sharing the steps translated into Malay Language too at the end of this post.

This is my first ever post on cooking. Many know that I love food very much, yes, I am a foodie. I eat a lot. But it is always either my mother’s cooking (my fav) or us eating outside. My mother loves to cook and I just realized that whatever she cooks is always delicious BECAUSE she loves to cook and she cooks a lot. The skills, the talent and the awesome cooking. It didn’t happen overnight. I can’t believe I just realized that.

I don’t actually cook. I can probably count with the fingers on my two hands the number of times I cooked in this past few years, with my mother. Thought I wouldn’t be good at it as I thought I would never enjoy cooking. Never say never.

Looking back, I have been too much of a career woman that I didn’t actually have time to cook or do housework. When I was in high school, I was busy studying and cheerleading and dancing. When I was in university it was all about exams and campus life (there was a rule that we cannot cook in campus) and after I graduated I was just too busy chambering and busy with work that not only I did not have time to cook (or learn how to cook) but I did not even have time to actually eat at home with my husband for dinner. 110% of my life after university life was dedicated to work. I gave all my time to work before the two major lifechanging events that happened to me this past two years. Those two events made me realize that there are more things to life.

I’ll continue talking about that in another post.

But in this post, I am going to share what I learned when I cooked ayam masak sambal tumis monitored and tutored by my mother. I thought of putting this on the blog so that if I forget how to do it I can go back here to see how it is done. And also, if there are any readers of mine who also doesn’t cook like me, maybe they can also learn to cook too. (Anybody out there?? Anyone?? Just me??) Never too late right?

Baby steps : )

I must say though that it was pretty challenging to cook while taking photos of almost every step. Haha. It took longer because I had to wash my hands every time I wanted to hold my camera! But I just thought that it might be beneficial for myself and probably others?

So, every time I learn a new dish I’ll try to share it here, if God wills it.

Here goes the first dish :

(Sambal Chicken?)
Wan’s recipe


1 whole chicken
4 big yellow onions (bawang kuning)
6-7 cloves of garlic (bawang putih)
2 inches of ginger (halia)
30 dried chili (cili kering)
2-3 tea spoons of turmeric powder (serbuk kunyit)
2 lemongrass (serai)
1 cup of frying oil
1 tablespoon of sugar
1 teaspoon of salt
Half tablespoon of tamarind mixed with water (asam jawa) or 1 small cup of tamarind juice

You will need two woks (kuali) for this.


The sauce

1.       Slice the big yellow onions finely.
2.       Pound the garlic, ginger and lemongrass.
3.       Cut the dried chili, wash it and get rid of the seeds and then boil it in boiling water for about 5-10 minutes. Try to discard all seeds. Drain the water and blend it in the blender for 1-2 minutes.
4.       Put 1 cup of frying oil in the wok.
5.       When the oil is hot, put the yellow onion in the wok and fry it.
6.       Once the yellow onion is golden brown and smells nice, put in the pounded garlic, ginger and lemongrass and mix.
7.       Stir until the smell is even nicer, put in the blended dried chili.
8.       Then put in the tamarind juice, salt and sugar.
9.       Stir well.

The chicken

(This should be done right after step 3 for the SAUCE above)
1.       Season the chicken with the turmeric powder, pepper and salt.
2.       Heat up the oil in another wok. When the oil is hot put the chicken in and fry it until golden brown.

Final step

Now that both the fried chicken and the sauce are ready, it is time to mix it up!
Put in the fried chicken into the wok and mix well till the chicken is fully covered with the sauce.
Try it and add in sugar or salt as you like.

Note : I did this with my mother so it was easier to cook both the chicken and the sauce at once. 
However, if done alone I would probably start off with frying the chicken first and after that is done start with the sauce.


For those who haven’t cooked ayam masak sambal before, try it! This is not the first time I cooked this year (that sounds so bad) but from what I’ve learned from the limited number of cooking experience I had is that we tend to make mistakes. Especially during the first time. So we keep on improving, improvise and try to make it better the next time.

Cooking just like other things in life, will get better through experience. Practice makes perfect.

I didn’t ever thought I would like cooking eventhough I love to eat. But, it turns out, after a number of times cooking with Wan this year I actually enjoy it. Eventhough I am a beginner and still learning I find it quite enjoyable especially when they actually finish eating the dish!

If I can do it, you can too! Hehe.

Do share with me if you have any cooking tips for beginners ya? : )


Saya ada terima komen dari pembaca-pembaca blog untuk saya terjemahkan beberapa post terdahulu di blog saya. Belum berkesempatan. Jadi ini cubaan pertama saya untuk cuba terjemahkan tulisan saya ke dalam Bahasa Melayu. Memang saya berborak dalam Bahasa Melayu in real life tapi bila menulis saya lebih selesa berbahasa Inggeris kerana  bila saya menulis dalam Bahasa Melayu secara otomatik akan jadi bahasa baku. Awkward. Saya cuba yang terbaik ya? Kalau silap atau salah harap tolong betulkan : )


Sos sambal tumis

1.                Kisar bawang kuning.
2.                Tumbuk bawang putih, halia dan serai.
3.                Potong, basuh dan buang biji cili kering kemudian rebus dalam air mendidih selama 5-10 minit. Keringkan dan letak dalam blender selama 1-2 minit.
4.                Letak satu cawan minyak masak dalam kuali.
5.                Bila minyak dah panas masukkan bawang kuning yang telah dihiris ke dalam kuali.
6.                Bila bawang kuning sudah harum baunya dan warna keemasan masukkan bawang putih, halia dan serai yang telah ditumbuk. Gaulkan sehingga sebati.
7.                Gaul sehingga wangi kemudian masukkan cili kering yang telah diblend.
8.                Masukkan air asam jawa, garam dan gula.
9.                Gaulkan

Ayam goreng

(Mula goreng ayam sebelum masuk minyak untuk sos sambal tumis)

1.       Gaulkan ayam dengan serbuk kunyit, garam dan lada hitam.
2.       Panaskan minyak dalam kuali lain. 
Bila minyak dah panas masukkan ayam dan masak hingga warna keemasan

Langkah terakhir

Sekarang kedua-dua sos dan ayam goreng dah sedia masak, jadi sudah tiba masa untuk gaulkan kedua-duanya!

Masukkan ayam goreng ke dalam kuali yang ada sambal yang telah ditumis dan gaul hingga sebati.

Harap terjemahan di atas ini bermanfaat dan bukan jadi bahan gelak sahaja. Hehe.

Selamat mencuba!


Sunday, April 13, 2014


Touched my heart even more today. Comforting... in a way.

A picture of a poem I got from an IG account of another mother to a child in heaven (@angelmommies).

This date last year was Putri Jibrael Zumirrah's EDD (estimated due date) according to the doctors... 12/13 April 2013 was the date my daughter was supposed to leave my body, according to them. The date I was supposed to give birth to her. 

I remember I met three different doctors. First from a clinic near my office, second and third from 2 different private hospitals. They said the same thing.

Estimated due date : 12/13 April 2013

The same month as the husband's birthday. The same as my brother's birthday...

But fate decided that she came into this world on 14th January 2013. :) That beautiful day. I get to meet her and hold her earlier than expected. Today, she's 1 year and 3 months if she's still around. 

I would have been able to see her crawl, laugh, call me Mama, walk and... I don't know just all those milestones that I can just imagine?


I'm getting better at handling this day today compared to last year I suppose but it's still so difficult. Still so painful. Its something I never expected I would have to face. A pain I never thought possible. Physically and emotionally.

What more with @kneok leaving for work outstation this morning. One after another. Today is a day I decided that I have to take care of my health and not push myself too hard. There are times that we are just weak and today is that kind of day for me. I am sure there are others who have lost someone dear to them who would understand what I am saying.

My husband reminded me that yes Jibrael's EDD was today but she was born on 14th January 2013 and she lived on that day. A lot of babies are born before their EDD but the EDD still hold a lot of significance to me.

Estimated. Expected.... Expect the Unexpected.

God knows best. God is the best of planners. We all get what we deserve and I am undeserving of a lot of things. But, God gave me Jibrael. A love I never thought possible it lingers every second since even before I carried her and it gets even stronger when I carried her, gave birth to her, met her, held her and even more... when she left this world to go to heaven... I miss Jibrael. I miss what we went through together and I miss the things that I do not get to do with her till today. I miss the things that I am not able to see her do. To grow up, like the rest of us. I want to see that. See her grow up just like other mothers see their children grow. I cannot wait to see her again. But, i try my best to be patient. She has served her purpose in this world, I haven't. 

I am blessed to have her waiting for me in heaven. I imagine heaven with Jibrael in it eventhough the beauty is unimaginable and that makes me smile. I want to go there too but I know I am still undeserving of it. I want to be strong and inspiring, like my daughter.... but I can only try. 
We can only plan but He is the Ultimate Planner who determines everything. Life and death, all predetermined. We all belong to Him and will all return to Him. Alfatihah tak putus, Jibrael ku sayang.

Today was very difficult (unexpectedly) but I had emotional support from both my soulsister Ruzana Ibrahim and sister-in-law Syahira Zakaria in my room. Thank you ladies for the support. Unexpected and I am truly blessed.

Thank you @angelmommies for the photo... ♡


This post is a continuation of the following posts in the Expect the Unexpected series :



Blog Archive

Total Pageviews