11 months : A Dedication to My Daughter's Father

5:41:00 PM

This post is a special dedication to the beloved father of my beautiful daughter, my husband Abdullah Khubayb (@kneok).

The man who became the father to my child 11 months ago.  

Abah to our miraculous strong fighter Putri Jibrael Zumirrah who has left this world 11 months ago. 

The man who shares the same amount of love towards Jibrael and who feels the loss as much as I do when Jibrael left this world until now. The one who fought together with me and Jibrael in the hospital. The one who has so much love for the family. The one who gives so much without ever asking for anything in return.

The one who's still on the long road to recovery together with me. 

The strongest man I know. A great father to our child. 

This is for you.

Sayang, it is Friday today :D Our favourite of all days. This Friday fav thing happened when we were in the hospital. Friday, a day we always looked forward to while I was carrying Jibrael. Remember all those beautiful memories? :) Etched in our hearts and minds forever.

Tomorrow, 14th December 2013 - Exactly 11 months since we became parents to our first child. Also, 11 months since our daughter left this world for a much much better place beyond our limited imaginations.

Yes, it pains us to not have her here with us. 
Yes, it hurts.
Yes, we think about her every single day. 
Yes, we wonder about what she would be doing if she's with us here in this world. 
Yes, we wonder what it would be like.
Yes, we can only imagine.
Yes, we could only dream about experiencing every single milestones together with her.  
Yes, we miss her and we love her.
Every single day, every single minute. 
In everything that we do.

"It is okay" We remind each other.

It is alright. It is natural for a mother and a father to love our child unconditionally. It is not wrong.

We will always remember her. 
We will always miss her. 
We will always love her.
We love our child too much to ever forget her. 
We will never stop talking about her. 
We will always be proud of her. 
We will always regard her as our inspiration and our teacher who taught us so much about life.
We will honour her memory always. 


Although we can't carry her in our arms anymore, we carry her in our hearts and minds all the time. Our daughter is too beautiful for this earth she had to go straight to heaven. God loves her more. 

It is okay to miss a person who is no longer in this world. Missing is the price we pay for love. It is a good feeling to love your child. To miss her. 


Isn't it a comfort to know that she's in a place we all pray to go to? We know for sure that our daughter is having an awesome time up in heaven. A place where there is no harm, no pain and no danger. A place where there are only beautiful and good things. We do not have to worry about her at all because she's in a place everyone can only desire to go to. She does not have to go through the trials and tests that everyone has to go through in this temporary world we currently live in. 

A soul so beautiful and pure, that's our Jibrael. ;) Our eldest daughter.

To imagine that the first thing that our daughter saw when she opened her eyes was heaven? Beyond imagination. Now that makes me smile. 
She suffered so much when she was fighting for dear life. She fought too hard to meet us. She was a baby but she had to go through pain in this world that we wouldn't even have to go through in a whole lifetime in this world. That was how strong she was.

We prayed together back then in the hospital, "May God determine what's best for our baby". Clearly, she  only deserves the best. The best food, the best clothes, the best environment, the best place to live in and that is why she went straight to the place which contains all the best of things. 

We are so blessed to have a daughter in heaven.

Our love for her lingers and her legacy lives on. 

My dearest husband, by remembering our daughter in heaven, let us continue to improve ourselves to be better and remember what is really important which is to remember the ONE who created us all at all times. Remind ourselves the ultimate purpose in life. Remind ourselves that the eternal Afterlife is more important than our lives in this temporary world of ours. Remember to strive hard go to heaven since it is not guaranteed to each one of us who's still living on this earth. Each day is a learning curve and a process for us to change to become a better person than we were yesterday. We are normal human beings, flawed, imperfect and committed too many mistakes and sins in the past. I know you will remind me if I forget. But, just in case, let's hope that other lovely readers of this post will remind us if we ever forget. :)

I can only pray that Jibrael is smiling from up above as you are reading this blogpost that I'm typing out as a dedication for you today. Just how I am smiling when I'm typing this out. I am extremely blessed to have you as my husband :)

The Creator's promise is true. All we need is to trust the one who created our child and everything that exists in this world. All praises to the Creator for the greatest gift I could ever receive. I am blessed to have you. The father to my Jibrael. The father to our shared gift, our beautiful daughter in heaven. Sometimes I feel unworthy and undeserving of the gifts of my beautiful little family. I'm grateful. Alhamdulillah.
You and I just need to be patient til we meet her again. Hopefully with rest of our family and friends in this world.

Before we were expecting our first child we would never have thought that our child will be waiting for us in heaven, but we do now.

Never would we have expected that our first child could teach her parents so much right? I feel that we have become better individuals because of her. Because of her too, our relationship  has strengthen in ways I would never have expected. Subhanallah. 

Our prayers last year were answered, beyond what we have asked for. Alhamdulillah


We smile because we know we will get to meet our daughter again. We will reunite again, if God wills it. :) Our family will be complete again, one sweet day. InsyaAllah.

May God grant us continuous strength to be patient till that day comes.


Thank you so much for being the strong and most loving father to my child. Through you God gave me Jibrael. I could never thank you enough for being my loving husband, my bestfriend, my lover and the father to my child. May God grant us Jibrael's younger siblings, eventhough it is already too much for us to ask for.   

LOVE always,

The mother to your daughter in heaven.  


Here in this post, I'm sharing some of the pictures reposted from IG that hit me hard. There are things that I cannot put into words but these pictures speak volumes. I'm also sharing a polaroid picture of us sitting on the hospital bed while I was almost 7 months carrying Jibrael and I was wearing the purple hospital clothes I wore for 78 days that I was there. The polaroid picture was taken by our cousin. 

A month back I wrote a note 10 months after Jibrael went to heaven.

All strength and power belongs to the Almighty. God knows best. Trust Him and His plans. He tests whom He loves. With hardships and with ease.

Happy Friday :) 


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  1. U make me cry dear. Me too really2 miss my bidadara Syurga, Eshan Yusuf. Terlalu kenangan terindah bersama dia in 27days of life.