TRISTIS - Sorrows of Love

10:23:00 AM

As I have grown a little older, I've come to change my perception and viewpoint of many things. And one of the many things that I've come to see in a different way is the concept and definition of LOVE. In my post LOVE BOUND, I talked about LOVE.

"So simple yet so complex. 
So subjective yet so beautiful. 
So generic, yet can also be so specific.
So confusing yet so straightforward. 
So deep and so meaningful.
It brings comfort and joy but at times it brings tears and pain.

One of nature's best gift to us and the universe's greatest energy.
One of life's greatest blessing, other than life itself."

However, I've also come to realise that love isn't just the happily ever after that is defined in the movies or novels or what people think it is. Of course, love is a powerful and natural emotion. One of the greatest blessings given to us. But love goes much more beyond the happy emotions. Love is the entire journey, starting from when this powerful feeling is seeded in our heart, a blessing from our Creator.

And among His Signs is this: that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect. (Quran 30:21)

To me, love is just one side of the coin. The other side? Heartbreak. Sadness. When we love someone or something, we will definitely experience pain and heartbreak when the person or thing we love is taken away from us. When something bad happens.

That's the tragic beauty of love. An emotion so powerful that it will sooner or later break us. I experienced what was my first true sadness when my grandmother passed away many years ago. I loved her so much, and though she passed away peacefully, the pain of losing her caused me a lot of sadness. And when I lost my children, the pain was so unbearable that it totally changed me. But I know it's only because the love I have for them was so big, that the permanent pain and scar was worth it. And many of the other things that I have loved and lost.

And this truth transcends beyond the normal concepts of love. Some of us love different things. Whether it's our career, our dreams, material things, or any other thing, when it's gone or taken away, we will feel that sadness.

So I was exploring this concept more, and I think I found a beautiful word for it. TRISTIS. Tristis means sadness, sorrow, melancholy, solemn. But it is not just your normal sadness. It is a sadness that blooms after you have loved.

There is a flower called Nyctanthes Arbor-Tristes. The Night Jasmine or the Tree of Sorrows. It blooms in the night and loses its shine in the daytime. While other flowers bask in the sun and blooms with sunshine, the tree of sorrows only bloom silently in the night. It is tragic that a love can only bloom away from the warmth of the sun.

But for those that have experienced heartbreak after you have loved, I'm sure you can relate. The sadness that results after love is a bittersweet feeling that is different from normal sadness. It is a sadness that you hold on to so that you can remember that you once loved. 

It is the price we have to pay for love. It's not wrong to feel sadness. Its only human and natural. To me, it is something I'd gladly sacrifice for the sake of love. It doesn't make the concept of love any less beautiful or majestic. It’s constantly learning and accepting of the fact that nothing is permanent and everything in this world is temporary in the first place. At the end of the day, nothing actually belongs to us and everything will perish and we will all return to Our Creator.

So this top was named TRISTIS because the sleeves is a little unique. It comes with these cute little things that I call love-strings that you have to tie on your wrists in any way that you want. Tie the love around you firmly so that you hold on to that sadness, and remember that love that you had.

I took these photos in Shoreditch, London when I travelled there last month for Pure London and attending the London Modest Fashion Week and London Fashion Week straight after being in the hospital for 8 days (read: Love Fondue) It was a hectic yet very productive journey that I haven't shared much about since I've been busy preparing for both aere's Raya Collection and the KLFW Fashion Week 2017. And no, that tree behind me is not the Tree of Sorrows!

Outfit Details :
Both pieces above are from aere's LOVE collection 
as previewed at Jakarta Fashion Week 2017 on October 2016

Photo by Danielle


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