R Nadia Sabrina: March 2014

# my looks,

Ariel White Aztec

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, by RNadia

Expect the Unexpected XI : Death : When and How

Our destination is the same.

Our departure, we don't know when.

There is nothing certain in life. Nothing. The only certainty in life is DEATH.

Do we know when we will be buried? When will we return to the One who created us? Do we know how we will leave this world?

No.

The hows and the whens of death are matters unexpected.

*EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED Sabrina.*

The expectation is that you will grow old and taste death when you are "old". That is what everyone expects of themselves and the beloveds around them.

How old? 1 day old or 90 years old? We do not know. Any day could be our last day.

My daughter passed away when she was one day old. One day.

...

The news last night on the missing plane. No words to express my feelings. A lot of us feel a lot of things at different times.

Numb. Sad. In denial. Angry. Gloomy. Hopeful. Melancholy. Surreal.

(Sums up some of the mix of emotions I have felt on different days from 14.1.13.)

There were senior citizens, adults and children on the MH370. Various backgrounds, different races, nationalities and religions.

They did not expect that when their beloveds board that plane, they will not reach their destination. They did not expect that it was going to be the last time they are going to see their beloveds. Probably it is not the last time? We have all been praying for a miracle.

Ended. But the journey for the family of the beloveds does not end. It will not end. We pray to meet again, if not in this life, the Afterlife.

My prayers goes out to those on board, their friends, families and relatives. Each and everyone of them. No matter what background, race or religion. May God forgive them all and reward the ones on board goodness for the suffering that they have to go through. May they receive a beautiful end. (or received). May God strengthen the faith of the relatives and friends who were left behind.

To the relatives and friends who have lost someone you love : "May God magnify your reward, and make perfect your bereavement, and forgive your departed."

Anyways... I found the above picture on Instagram a long while ago. The pictures hit me on so many different levels.

We don't know which stage will we be at when death comes to us. It has been written. Only God knows our expiry date. But, we don't. It could be tomorrow or it could be many years from now.

As for my beautiful daughter Putri Jibrael Zumirrah binti Abdullah Khubayb, she's at the bottom level of the picture.

No, I did not expect that. My husband too did not expect that her lifetime will be just one day or that we can relate to the bottom stage of the above picture. We did not expect that she will leave this world before us. When I was pregnant. When I gave birth. When I met her at the NICU. I did not expect that it was going to be the last time I get to hold and meet her.

*Expect the Unexpected Sabrina*

Few people told me, oh it is expected. Because of this and that. Everyone trying to be smart or play God. But, we, the parents did not expect it. Oh, and no, no one should play God.

*Expect the Unexpected Sabrina. Calm yourself down*

A piece of advice. Don't do that to a family who just lost someone. Don't act as though you know the cause of someone's death. There is only One God and only God knows everything.

*Expect the Unexpected Sabrina*

The same day she was born after a long fight living in me without amniotic fluid, she was buried. She was buried the same day I gave birth to her via c-section. The most beautiful yet traumatic day of my life. Beautifully traumatic.

My daughter's lifetime was brief but I will never stop loving her and missing her throughout my lifetime in this temporary world of ours. When I found out I was pregnant, never would I have imagined or expected that my daughter will be in that position. She tasted death before her parents.

That position at the bottom most of the above picture. Our first daughter. My parents' first grandchild. My baby. She fought for life. She fought to meet her parents eventhough they were saying that it is not possible at the very early stages. 80 days without fluid. We did not have to go through that to live in this world. She did. She suffered a lot. She suffered more than any of us have to suffer throughout our lifetime till now.

Unexpected.

*Expect the Unexpected Sabrina. Be patient.*

My daughter is so strong and an inspiration for me to be strong. Alhamdulillah :)

My sister Hasanah Hilmi shared a photo quoting Rumi on her IG 3 weeks ago.

"Suffering is a gift. In it is hidden mercy." -Rumi-

MasyaAllah. Beautiful :)

God is with those who suffer. God love the ones whom He tests. May the pain and suffering that all of us go through bring us closer to the One who created us.

She's in a peaceful beautiful place now. Alhamdulillah. :) What a comfort to know that she is in a place we can only pray to go through. May we all join her in heaven. Me and everyone who is reading this. Let's strive and remind each other shall we? I easily forget so do remind me if it seems like I forget.

Every soul shall taste death.

"Who, when afflicted with calamity, say :"Truly, to God we belong and truly to Him we shall return". (2:156)

"Surely , God takes what is His , and what He gives is His, and to all things He has appointed a time … so have patience and be rewarded."

Life is a gift so let's cherish every second. Let's try to use our time to please the One who gave us life.

God knows best. May He determine what's best for all of us.

May God forgive us all. May God grant us a beautiful ending. An ending in this temporary life of ours which would lead us to heaven. May God grant us death when we are in the highest state of faith and fear of the only One we should fear. May death reach us at a time when God is happiest with our actions, thoughts and state. May our best day in life be the day when we get to meet our Creator.

PEACE & LOVE!

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This post is a continuation of the following posts:-

Expect the Unexpected I : The Call, the Painting, The Gift of Love, The Place & The Office.

Expect the Unexpected II : My Besfriend's Late Mother, My 50-50, My 2012 Birthday Gift, My Late Grandmothers & My Dad's Accident

Expect the Unexpected III : The Training at the Hospital

Expect the Unexpected IV : Happiness & Sorrows : The Experience, The Way Out & My Daugther

Expect the Unexpected V : How Do You Deal with Loss?

Expect the Unexpected VI : My Beautifully Traumatic Experience : Beautiful Jibrael

Expect the Unexpected VII : The PPROM Week

Friday the 1st of November, 2013 : Life, death, reminders and celebration : Expect the Unexpected VIII

Drawing of My Angel, Baby Jibrael : Expect the Unexpected IX

Counting Down the Days : 14.1.14 : Expect the Unexpected X

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Oh God,
cleanse our hearts
from hypocrisy (nifaq),

our actions
from pride (riya' / showing off),

our tongue
from lying,

our eyes
from watching treachery.

For surely You know what is hidden within.

2Comments

, by RNadia

# fashion, my looks

Fresh and White

Happy Friday. :)

Yesterday, I paired the Olivia Lemon top and Kim White belt from ARNADIA by @gayacollective with the white flared pants from Zakwan Anuar and a Paripari shawl to match. Yellow and white/creme is one combination that I love.

I also wore the studded glitter shoes I got a day before the Ariani event I went to. This is my current favourite heels! Eventhough most other times I would just wear fit flops! Haha.

This is the first time that I am wearing the Olivia Lemon top and I love that the yellow colour pops and instantly brightens up the whole outfit. Yellow items are a must-have to brighten up any outfit and any wardrobe.

Also had with me a cream blazer appropriate for a working day.

When wearing white or lighter coloured garments I would choose to wear the white belt instead of the black belt.

I've been looking for a white pants that's loose and not too tight. I have a few white pants that I've used in the past but I choose not to wear it now. Just too tight and I feel uncomfortable wearing them. Few years ago I still wore figure-hugging pants to work but slowly I've turned to skirts and long dresses after my Umrah trip (Unworthy Me) back in June 2012. This flared white pants to me is not too tight, fits me nicely and has just the right length too. Probably next time for pants I can also opt for one-size bigger for a looser fit.

Yellow = Fresh and Bright.

What comes to mind when you see the colour yellow? How would you describe yellow in one word?

I've blogged about my love of the colour yellow a few times here in my blog including my recent post : Favourite Colours Unite. You can see my previous posts from back in 2011 on how I wore the colour yellow.

Check out my yellow looks in Lemon Crush, Fashion of Colours (2011), Rainbow Tujo Yogyakarta with Love 1 : Parangtritis Beach (2011), Yogyakarta with Love : The Majestic Prambanan Temples (2011) and Vintage Themed Gathering at Canoodling.

Outfit details :

Pants : Basic Flare Pants in White by Zakwan Anuar at Fashion Valet

Top : Olivia Lemon from ARNADIA by GAYA

already released at IG @gayacollective
(Available on www.gayaworld.com)

Jacket : Tux Blazer in Cream by Sunny Girl at Fashion Valet

Shawl : Paripari Shawls available at ILoveTudung.com

Shoes : Ivanka Studded Glitter Heels from Shoesshoesshoes

Bangle : Gifts from my mother and my late grandmother, Opah
Watch : Gift from @kneok

Photographer : Hasanah Hilmi

PEACE & LOVE!