I'm writing this quick blogpost tonight just to clarify. As mentioned in my post about my second pregnancy, "I'm supposed to be 33 weeks". But, I'm not. I'm no longer pregnant at the moment.
To be honest, I'm extremely touched by all the congratulatory comments on Instagram and here since my blogpost on "My Second Pregnancy : Adik Jibrael" yesterday. It was totally unexpected. I didn't expect people to congratulate me at all. Especially since I'm no longer pregnant. As mentioned in my previous post, I said, I WAS pregnant. The thing I feared the most was pity and sympathy because I realised that those reactions are not healthy for my recovery. So, I'm glad there were no sympathies but at the same time I was surprised that people reacted the total opposite. Which was good, in a way.
I was with my family last night when the comments came in. Some friends also whatsapped me personally when they saw the IG posts and congratulated me and wished me well but I told them that I'm not pregnant anymore. I couldn't talk much though when questions were asked, though. It might seem easy to answer but there are moments when it's just not. As I mentioned in my previous post, its also not easy for me to talk (or whatsapp about it) but when I start to write about it, I have no problems to pour it out. It's easier for me to express through writing my heart out than talk about it. There are also certain rare times when I am able to talk about it, but like I said, I can get quite emotional when I do.
Kind and thoughtful Vivy was the first person who personally whatsapped me when she saw the congratulatory wishes on Insta. She said she just read my blog and was concerned because there were people who were congratulating me on Insta. She asked me "are you okay?" and suggested that I should clarify since the congratulatory wishes might be hurtful at the moment. Told Vivy that I will write about it when I'm ready. To be honest, I was also confused as to what to feel. But it didn't feel too hurtful. It felt more like a delayed reaction towards my own joy and happiness when I found out I was pregnant. I didn't feel down or sad at all. Really, it didn't. I continued spending quality time with my family without talking about it at all and today from morning till night was filled with lots of work stuffs for aere (it's one of the most hectic periods ever!!). And now here I am trying to make my situation clearer.
Instead of feeling hurtful, I actually felt touched by the kind comments and prayers from everyone. I feel so blessed and grateful to have so many of you who actually sound so genuinely happy. Most of those who commented on the post yesterday I have never met in real life, but I felt like the effort that each of you took to type out the comments and sincerely and genuinely be so happy for me when you found out that I was pregnant was just so heartfelt in a very good way. It's really overwhelming.
So thank you to everyone for your kindness in sincerely wishing happiness upon others and being so happy to see others' happiness and joys. I pray that all of you will be granted with the same or even more joy and happiness always and be rewarded by God for your genuine and sincere kindness.
I didn't want to share about my second pregnancy initially but yesterday suddenly I just felt like sharing it here. I didn't continue about what happened yet because it is more difficult than I thought it would be and yesterday I was rushing off to meet my family, but I intend to continue writing about it now as it is a beautiful experience for me which I will treasure forever, mixed with lots of emotions and feelings. Certain feelings which I never even knew existed in me. Again, it's something I want to write so that I can re-read this beautiful experience in the future and I feel relieved when I let it out since I'm not able to talk about it without feeling emotional or weird, at the moment.
Till then, my apologies for not being clear enough in my previous posts or if I had caused any confusion. I really thought that I was clear enough in my writings especially when i used past tense instead of the present tense. I sincerely am sorry for any misunderstandings caused from my previous post. Whatever it is, I just wish to thank YOU for the love, support, concern and care. May God bless you all for all the sincerity, kindness and love.
PEACE & LOVE!