A Fresh New Start
5:58:00 PM
Hello everyone. I know I have
been absent from the blogosphere for a while. My last post was 10 days ago. So
here I am. I miss this.
But, as much as I haven’t been
blogging this past 10 days, I have been thinking about my blog almost all the
time.
Part of the reason why I haven’t
blogged was because I can only find time to blog during weekends or at night
after I am done with work. Also because of several new changes in my life very
recently.
But I guess I also really needed some
space and time to take a step back and think about my blog.
I am pretty sure that my readers
can see from my blog posts that recently I have only been sharing my looks and
fashion posts but I haven’t been posting about personal stuffs. At most, I
shared about my travels.
I realize that. And it was
intentional.
For those who have followed my
blog for some time you would have realized that I normally share a lot of what
I experience as well as what I feel. But then I stopped.
I made the decision to stop sharing
just about 4 months ago. Something happened which hit me really bad. At that
time, I honestly felt like quitting Instagram and quitting writing on my blog
altogether. Or at least take it offline.
Certain comments on the blog or
IG especially about my personal life has left me quite hurt. Comments that were
really hurtful.
I really don’t mind if people
criticize me on my style or fashion sense or work because that can be improved.
But when people comment about things that you can’t change especially personal
things it just really hurts. Of course when it happens to others, I will say
just try your best to ignore it. But when it happened to me, I now know that it
is easier said than done.
I know I am not alone facing this
and it’s probably not as much as other people have to face. When I look at all
the shameful and thoughtless comments people leave on the IG of those that I
know: Fasha, Nora, Lisa, Yuna etc. it just makes me wonder what kind of society
we live in now when people feel so bold to attack other people without a second
thought. Things they wouldn’t say to your face but effortlessly write just
because they are hiding behind the keyboard or smartphone. But it still hurts.
We are all human.
Because of all this and more, I
decided to stop posting about my personal life. Here on the blog. I stopped
sharing what I feel for quite awhile, just leaving vague hints of what has been
happening in my life right now.
However, because of that, my blog
feels somewhat empty. Because there are a lot of things that I have not been
able to express. And this emptiness is caused by my own limitations. I have set
that limit to not share or express my feelings here in my own blog. Just
because of what certain things had made me feel. I feel that I cannot release what
it is in my mind and my heart just because of what has happened before. But
there’s a trade off. When you share, you open yourself up and become vulnerable
to these attacks. And they hurt. Trust me, they do.
The closest to me saw how it
affected me and they supported my decision when I said I am no longer going to
write about my feelings but am just going to only talk about personal stuffs
and feelings to those closest to me. However, I find that I’m not able to
express myself through talking all the time. And not everyone has the time to
listen. Everyone is going through their own challenges in different ways. Maybe
different types of problems but everyone is going through something.
My blog has been a therapeutic
space for me to jot down my feelings and express myself and share the things
around me. But when I set that limit it doesn’t really do that to me anymore
but only acts as a distraction to mask what I actually feel.
I feel that something is wrong
somewhere. I did not feel the satisfaction that I used to feel every time I
clicked the “publish” button to upload a blog post.
So I did a little soul and self
(blog) searching. I read back on my posts and whether it’s still worth it to
continue with this or just pack up my bags. I was just curious on what I felt
when I first started up this blog and I went to my first post on this blog in
April 2009 (wow, 5 years ago). And it was there I found the answers to why I
started this blog of mine.
When we start
something, we always have a reason for it. We have a goal. But then sometimes
we lose track a bit. I guess it’s normal. Even in life. That’s why we always
need reminders. From all angles.
I love writing. I
love blogging. But I realize that I need to keep falling back in love with it
all over again sometimes.
Since I have realized the above,
today, I have decided. Not to hold back anymore. I am going to share what I
feel and what I think, with the hopes that other than benefitting myself it
will benefit at least seven other persons out there. If it can benefit 7 people out there, it will
be enough to make me happy. J That’s my goal. If I can’t change the
world, I’ll at least change myself and change the world of 7 people around me.
Today I am opening a new chapter
in my blog. Don’t get me wrong. The travel posts and the fashion look posts are
fun, and I enjoy doing it. And they are not going away. But that’s not all I am
about. That’s not who I am entirely. I am much more than that. And I will open
up and share once again here.
It just feels right again.
Coincidentally, in the month of Syawal. A month for new beginnings.
Phew, feels good to let that off
my chest.
Okay…. Now that’s out of the way…
So …what has been happening in my life the past 10 days?
Well, there’s another reason why
I have not had a lot of time to blog. I
have just moved into a new place with the husband! Exciting times!
PEACE & LOVE!
5 comments
Salaam Nadia! Keep doing what you're doing as long as it keeps you happy. The world can be a horrid and lonely place at times but we need positive people like you to remind us to stay strong <3 All the best in your new home! Love from London xx
ReplyDeleteAssalamualaikum Nadia. I did noticed that you were only sharing about your looks recently. Kinda made me sad because I am more excites to read about your thoughts and your-personal-doing as it somehow motivates me in a way. Oh ya, and here also I've been learning to improve my english for free! Haha. So pls dont hold it back. Allah wouldnt be cruel to us. The bad words are to test us. It will just be a test. Take care Nadia :)
ReplyDeletei've go through each one of your blogpost. Thank you for being postive all the time, it's really wonderful to learn such things from you who I never know. Thank you for make me think believe in faith is one of the key to happiness. Keep writing and spread the positivity :)
ReplyDeleteHi, I've been an avid follower of your writings.Truth be told, I am learning a lot from you. I'm just an average person who had a rough childhood growing up in a conformed society that it made me highly critical and cynical of people like you. Hope you get my drift.
ReplyDeleteBut I can say this, for what it's worth, your writing makes me smile. You share and preach what I have secretly wanted to learn, without having anyone passing judgements.I hope this somehow will show you that there will always be someone who will be malicious towards you but then, there's also us, the unspoken admirers of yours, who wishes you nothing but the best in all that you do.
With that said, I shall now crawl back to where I was hiding.
Thank YOU.
Salam Nadia. Im one of ur silence follower. Keep it up! I love read ur post about travelling. Some of ur post motivate me more in life. I love the positivity in u. Just delete all negative people.
ReplyDelete