It has been a while since my last post on MUSIC.

Since I'll be performing together with SYB tomorrow night for Kuala Lumpur Young Lawyers Committee (KLYLC) Charity Night 2013 (more details at the end of this post), I think it is high time for me to share the story of last year's performance on my blog.

When I was invited to sing with a band consisting of lawyers in my husband's firm last year, they wanted to do something upbeat. I straight away thought of Zombie. Other than the music, I especially like the lyrics and the message behind the 1994 hit song. I remember pretending and imagining that I was singing this song in front of a large crowd with my cousins when I was about 10 or 11. So finally being able to perform Zombie with a live band in front of plus minus 700 people was like a dream come true.

L-R : 

Putri Azalea Ramli of Pu3 Designs, 

Alia Alizar of Yadotsa, myself and 

Min Ramli of When Our Eyes Met

This is a continuation to Day 1 KLFW RTW : Pu3 Designs, Yadotsa & Jummy Lee : The Show and the Beautiful People.

20th June 2013 - Day Two of the Kuala Lumpur Fashion Week Ready to Wear 2013. I just HAD to attend my cousin Min's When Our Eyes Met Ready-To-Wear fashion showcase. Wouldn't have missed it for anything. There was also the showcase of Mimpikita, Zero to Ten and For All by Villiam Ooi too. As I mentioned in my earlier post, the pieces of When Our Eyes Met's collection are very edgy and unique. Just like my cousin Min :) Min's creativity and her personality shines through her pieces. Instead of going for colour, her whole collection was all black. Min focused and played with the material and unique geometric cuts. I loved the idea of the all black, edgy collection.

With the twins behind Pu3 Designs and WOEM

I just realized that my last blog posting on a fashion show was ages ago! The Fashion Showcase of Alia Bastamam & Pu3 was wayyyyyyyy back in 2011! I've been to several fashion shows since then but I guess I did not blog about them.

So this week was the Kuala Lumpur Fashion Week Ready to Wear 2013, which I had the privilege of attending.

My cousins Cho (Putri Azalea Ramli of Pu3) and Min (Putri Yasmin Ramli of When Our Eyes Met) invited me to their Ready-To-Wear fashion showcase for KLFW at Pavillion KL. Pu3's show is on the 19th of June 2013 together with Yadotsa, Jimmy Lim and Jasmi Rejab while WOEM's show is on the 20th June 2013 together with Mimpi Kita, Zero to Ten and For All by Villiam Ooi.

I watched KIL the movie last Sunday (2nd June 2012) together with my family. My husband bought the tickets for us. I didn't know what to expect because to be honest I haven't heard anything about it before and therefore I had no idea at all what it was about. He only told me that the genre of the movie was drama, mystery and romance. Apart from the 5 of us, there was only a couple behind us and one other person in front of us. So there were only 8 people in the cinema. It was an empty hall. I was quite surprised because my husband said the movie was getting good reviews.

The last time I sat in a cinema hall this empty was when my family and I watched The Song of Sparrows at GSC Pavillion a few years ago which turned out to be an excellent movie so I ignored the fact that the cinema hall was almost empty. It almost felt like we had the cinema all to ourselves.

Firstly, I want to put a disclaimer here. I am no film critique or reviewer. I'm not going to give a professional film review. I'm just a normal person who loves watching all sorts of movies of different genres since I was little. I have a lot of favourite movies for different reasons. So I'm just going to share what I feel about KIL the movie.

Early on at the beginning of the movie, I was already very impressed with the cinematography and the colour tone which was maintained throughout. The first scene left a big impact on me and was very unique. I can honestly say I have never seen any Malaysian movie with this sort of quality and bravery before. Granted, I don't watch a lot of Malaysian movies, but I compare with the ones I have seen. The movie did a very good job of engaging me and keeping me on my toes as I was curious of what was going to happen in the next minute.

Do you know anyone who has lost a child? A friend, a family member, a colleague or even a stranger? Do you know how to deal with them? What to say or do to help them? When you interact with them face to face or even via phone calls or social media? 

I'm in the category of those who did not know how to. I did not know what to say or how to act because while I had an idea of how they felt and I knew that they were hurt and suffering, I did not actually know how they really felt. The loss. The emptiness. So, I always chose to keep quiet. I did not say anything and did not really do anything to help. I always thought that no words could comfort someone in that situation. I thought I was being a good friend by giving a bereaving person some space and alone time. I sometimes felt guilty for being happy in front of such people, not wanting to hurt them. Truth is, I didn't know how to deal with them. 

And now, I'm still not sure if I know how to deal with someone who has suffered a loss. But I know how they feel. But it came at great expense.

Throughout my hospital stay, I stayed positive all the time. This was what the doctors told me to do. I did not entertain any thoughts of any negative outcomes and I channeled all my positive energy into this. When you have your beloved child with you, you would fight and do anything to ensure that your child will remain alive. I was so positive, the doctors told me that I was too positive and I had to tone it down. I didn't do that. Since my baby was struggling to live every day, I had to make sure I did my best to support her, being positive and never let her down.

I never let myself to think that I could lose her. I blocked any such negativity out of my system. Even when I received bad news of my beloved grandmother's passing and my dad's accident when I was in the hospital, I did not allow myself to cry and grieve and let those news affect me for long. I pushed myself beyond my limits. I suddenly had strength that I never knew existed. I had no choice but to be strong. I had to stay strong for my baby. But I lost her. And I could not imagine the pain. Cut through this deep. I know now how it feels to lose a child. To lose someone very important and dear to me.  All this while I thought I could empathize with the feelings of those who have lost, but there and then I realized at that moment that it was nowhere near the same. I did not imagine the pain of losing a child would be this great, until I have to go through it myself.

Candid shot while adjusting my shawl

Back in March 2013, I was invited to become a model for  I Love Tudung's first photoshoot. I modeled Lala Love 's first collection. 

Mind you, I'm no professional model, I only agreed to help out to support my cousin. In the beginning I was quite awkward, I hadn't been out very much and I was still adjusting. I was also very nervous and uncomfortable in front of the camera. To make matters worse, I suddenly had fever and flu the day before and my eyes were all teared up because of the flu. 

The photoshoot took one whole day, from 7 a.m. in the morning til around 10 p.m.! Yes, it was that long! as we had a lot of different shawls to shoot. Prior to the photoshoot, I did not do any activity that required any energy for a very, very long time so it was very tiring and challenging, with the fever and all. I only started getting more comfortable when I was modelling this Pelangi Lace shawl, so that's why this shawl gets a special mention. Something about the rainbow colours made me feel all smiley.